im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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