I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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