You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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