That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize