i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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