He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
