Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize