yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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