On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I want to have your abortion
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
