I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
