"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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