I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
