Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
