Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
