Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
