I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
