do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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