I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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