So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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