ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it because I queefed?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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