I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
