Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
