i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
