wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize