it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
