I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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