The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
