I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
