so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
