Where is the hickey?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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