so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
