drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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