god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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