Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
