It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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