Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
