I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
is it fun? or sober?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
