she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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