Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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