I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
