Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
