What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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