if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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