And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
