So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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