She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
