Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
