I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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