Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
