Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
