Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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