That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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