This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
