I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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