end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
