We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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