Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize