I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
