my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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