he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so let's talk penis.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
