I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
