My first STD was from a foam party
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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