Your face is a jimmy john
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize