plz talk dirty to me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
