Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
